The Ultimate Dad Suit

I have four children.  I love them dearly, they do not love my suits (or really any of my nice cloths).  As a parent I've had about everything rubbed on me by cute little pudgy dimple knuckled hands.  I need a dad suit.  The Ultimate Dad Suit would be made of 100% waterproof, windproof and breathable Kevlar.  It would be black and almost bullet proof.  Some cuteness spits up on your leg in church?  No problem just spray it off with a hose.